prime minsiter's speech

Now in the second term of my incumbency
I can safely unveil further hypocrisy
A year back when asked if I'd keep the NHS
I looked straight in the camera, lied, and said "Yes"
Now I'm selling it off and I know the buyer
It's the gentleman's club whose offer is higher
And for ten years now we've had the fox hunting ban
Well I'm going to repeal it - because I can
It gives me an enormous sense of satisfaction
Oh - deary me -  I've got an erection
This takes me back to the Bullingdon Club
When George and Boris trashed that pub

I'm Dave - and I'm depraved
I'm Dave - and I can't be saved
I'm Dave - and I'm beyond redemption
I'm Dave - and I've won the election

My P.R team coined the term "austerity"
And each time I say it I feign sincerity
What it's actually for is to bamboozle the poor
Into willingly giving up more and more
Til they've no choice but to be wage slaves
Just look at all the money it saves!
And with the wealth we've appropriated from the plebs
I'll start up some Think Tanks headed by celebs
Like "How to keep the turkies voting for Christmas"
With a reassuring photo of Abby Titmus
And "Why you should carry on listening to me"
With baying and mooing from Jeremy C
And the money that's saved on the Welfare State
Will be redistributed - to my mates
And whilst Income Tax for the poorest will rise
Don't worry Corporations - you're my guys!

I'm Dave - and I'm depraved
I'm Dave - and I can't be saved
I'm Dave - and I'm beyond redemption
I'm Dave - and I've won the election

And though this time I may have vanquished Ed
In twenty years my voting base will all be dead
So I'd best get going whilst I can
There's still chimney sweeps and slavery to un-ban
And I've got another term in me yet
If you don't vote next time I'm what you'll get
Until my hair turns white and my jowels go saggy
And I meet my Maker - and mentor - Maggie